


An Outside Look

by Random_Trashtag



Category: Lost
Genre: After Season Three, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Trauma, lockes kinda a bitch, not cannon to the actual season four in the slightest-
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:27:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28602201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_Trashtag/pseuds/Random_Trashtag
Summary: Jack finds Sawyer wounded so he helps him out, but in the process discovers what's been on sawyers mind the past few days.
Relationships: James "Sawyer" Ford/Jack Shephard, Jawyer - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	An Outside Look

It was a muggy Sunday evening, with the sky pouring down raindrops and loud sound of thunder from outside Jack's door. He was sitting down in the cushioned chair in the corner of the houses dingy living room, as he was still trying to process the events of the past few days. Three days ago, he and the other survivors got in contact with what they assumed was a rescue boat thanks to Charlie's sacrifice. Instead, the people who came had the intention to kill the survivors, and work with the Others. This had caused him and Locke to split the group due to struggles with leadership power, and for Jack to lead his group up to the Barracks. 

The more and more he thought about it, the more and more frustrated he grew. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. They were supposed to be rescued. They were supposed to leave. And yet, here he was, in the same place he was 94 days ago. He tried to stop his thoughts, focusing on the book he'd pulled out called The XV Rose Guard . Yet, he couldn't stop himself from pondering. Until he heard the knock on his door. 

At first he thought it was just a branch on the side of his house, considering how faint the first knock was. But then he heard it again, with more vigor to it. He got up out of his chair and quickly put his book back. As he headed for the door, a third knock could be heard, accompanied by a familiar voice. 

"Please open the door." It muttered. Realizing who it was, Jack swung the door open to see a badly wounded Sawyer, hunched over and holding his side. He turned his head away from Jack. 

"I had nowhere else to go." He weakly snapped, falling over as his knees gave way. Jack swiftly caught him, wrapping Sawyer's free arm around the arch of his back. He quickly moved him inside and down the hallway to his bedroom, seeing as there wasn't another place to lie Sawyer down other than the floor. He started asking him questions. 

"When was the last time you drank water?" 

"Five or six hours ago." 

"Where are you feeling pain?" 

"Everywhere." 

"Sawyer, you know that's not what I meant." 

"Yeah? Well that's what it feels like." 

Jack carefully laid Sawyer down on the bed before moving the hand that Sawyer was holding to his side to reveal the large gash that was slowly pouring out blood. Jack examined the other marks and wounds that traced his skin, noticing another smaller gash across Sawyer's chest. He ran into the bathroom attached to the bedroom to quickly get his medical supplies. 

"Am I gonna die?" Sawyer asked. 

"No. But you'll definitely need stiches on your side." Jack cooed. He came back in the room with some gauze and anti-biotics, along with a needle and thread. "I'm going to need to take off your shirt." Sawyer moved his arms over his chest. 

"How 'bout no doc." He snapped. 

"Sawyer, it’s the only way I can effectively wrap up your wounds. Besides, your clothes are soaked anyway." Jack retorted. 

"Well I ain't lettin you do i-" He suddenly coiled towards the gash, letting out a raspy breath as he felt a sharp pain overcome his side. Jack turned him back on his back, raising his eyebrow. Sawyer sighed in defeat. 

"Fine." He mumbled, moving his arms out of the way. Jack placed the medical supplies he got down on the bedside table, and starting undoing the buttons of Sawyer's shirt. Carefully, he tugged it off of his body, causing their faces to come close. Too close for both of them. Jack moved away while Sawyer turned his head towards the right, both of them blushing a bit. Re-focusing on the task at hand, Jack grabbed some of the anti-biotics and started applying them to the wounds. 

"What happened?" He questioned. Sawyer stayed silent. "I'm just asking so I can properly help you. You don't have to give me specifics if you don't want to." Sawyer sighed. 

"Locke sent me out to talk with the people from Naomi's boat." 

"What!" Jack snapped, "Why would he do that? He knows they want to kill us." 

"Locke wanted them to join him. To stay on the island..." Sawyer's voice trailed off, the dullness that had been present in his eyes growing. It was something Jack first noticed when Sawyer came back with the tape Juliet gave to Ben. Ever since then it's been growing, Sawyer's behavior and mannerisms changing with it. In the three days he hadn't seen him, that look of hopelessness had seemed to have swallowed him whole. Jack didn't know how to address it with him, but now didn't seem like the right time. 

"If John wanted that, then why didn't he go talk to them himself?" Jack asked. 

"He said he needed to stay at the camp, that I was 'supposed' to do it," Sawyer spoke, "guess I was 'supposed' to get hurt then, huh." 

"Just because they attacked you doesn't mean they were supposed to." Jack reassured. Sawyer gave him a suspicious look. "Ok, maybe they were sent to kill us, but you getting attacked didn't have to happen." Silence fell between them as Jack finished disinfecting everything, grabbing the needle and thread. 

"This is going to hurt a bit." He told him. Sawyer nodded his head knowingly, taking one of the pillows from the bed and putting it over his head to stop himself from screaming at any point. With that, Jack started sewing up his side, making sure that he was ok every now and then. Other than a bit of squirming, everything went fine, and Jack was able to patch him up with ease. When Jack finished, he started putting gauze around the wound, wrapping it around Sawyer's chest. 

"Why didn't you say no?" 

"Hm?" Sawyer remarked, looking over at Jack. 

"Why didn't you tell Locke no when he asked you to go talk to them?" Jack questioned. 

Sawyer thought for a second on how he should respond. The answer connected back to the brig on the black pearl. A place Sawyer had been trying to block from his memory. But, no matter what he tried, the events of that day swarmed his mind. He couldn't help but feel lost. He wanted to try a different way of dealing with his feelings, maybe talking about it with someone he cared about. But both Locke and Kate reenforced the idea in his head that he should just try to hide it, and he should suffer in silence. That he could only trust himself. He hoped the answer he gave Jack wouldn't make him the same as those two. 

"I did." He sighed, "but then..." He couldn't finish his sentence. 

"Then what? Is it the same thing that happened when you left with him?" Jack blurted. Sawyer avoided Jacks glance, clearly looking dazed by his response. Jack looked down to the floor, a bit embarrassed by his sudden outburst. 

"I'm sorry if that was a bit personal for you," He consoled, "If you don't want to talk about it, then I won't ask. I'm just worried is all." He finished up the gauze and headed into the bathroom to put everything away, washing off his hands from some of the stained blood on them. He walked back out to his bedroom and sat on the edge of his bed next to his patient, who was now sitting upright over the edge of the bed as well. 

"Tomorrow morning I'll take you back to Locke, but until then you should lay down and rest." Jack advised. Sawyer smiled weakly before responding. 

"I don't wanna go back there." He murmured. Jack looked at him, perplexed by his statement. Sawyer took a deep breath before he continued. Maybe he could tell Jack a tiny bit about what's been happening. 

"The day Locke asked me to follow him somewhere, he had told me he had Ben locked up in the Black Pearl ship, and that I had to kill him. When I asked why, he told me he wasn't a murderer, but I was. I went with him, and he started asking me questions. Personal ones, 'bout things I ain't ever told anyone else. I asked him how he knew about it all, why he knew about everything I'd done before, what happened to me, my real name. He said the others had folders on all of us, and he had read mind. I told him directly I wasn't gonna kill him, I wasn't gonna do what I had done ever again, because I thought I was better than than that. But when we got to the ship, there was this man there, not Ben. 

"He was chained and tied up in the room, with a bag on his head. And when I went to go take the bag off, Locke trapped me in the room alone. I tried to get him to open it up, I screamed, banged, shouted, but he wouldn't budge. Then the man started talking to me, said I shouldn't waste my time. He started going on about the island, how we were all dead, and how we were in hell. He sounded looney, insane, but then he started talking about what he used to do. How he used to con..." His hands started to feel clammy, his breath hitched as he continued, while his anxiety worsened. 

"he said he'd been down in Jasper, Alabama once. When he used the con name Tom Sawyer. He started talking about this lady from there, who hated her husband and her kid and wanted to leave with him and ditch the two forever. Said she had a sorry life. I gave him the letter, the one I had carried with me all my life. I had found him, the man I had been hunting down for years. The man who tore my family apart. And he took the letter, read part of it, and ripped it up into pieces. I couldn't control myself, I let my emotions take over me and..." He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. 

"… I became the thing I hated the most. I did the thing that I said I wouldn't do, and yet, I didn't regret it. And that's what worried me. That’s what Locke uses against me. Every time he needs something done, he tells me that if I don't do it, he'll let everyone know what I've done. Every con, every lie, every mistake. And that fear, that worry of what he could do scares me. But why should I care? Every time that I think I'm not as bad as they see me, every time I think that I can let people in, I make another mistake that causes me to spiral back to square one. I keep on hurting everyone here with every lie I tell. I shouldn't even-" He started choking on his words, and his breath grew shallow as he sighed. "A tiger don't change her stripes." 

Abruptly, Jack pulled Sawyer into a hug, shocking him. "Then it's a good thing your human." 

Sawyer dug his face into Jack shoulder as he started to break down, letting himself cry for the first time in a long while. And for a moment, everything felt as ease amongst them. 

For a moment, Sawyer felt himself with the person he belonged with.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed that! Honestly I wanna write more stuff for these two, like maybe them having a first kiss where its just by accident but then they just roll with it, or maybe one where they get married and its a cute island thing where ko gets to marry them (cause of course not), or maybe one where its just Sawyer teasing Jack and then they just cuddle cause why not and-
> 
> I just realized I'm rambling wHoOpS-
> 
> But yea! I wanna make some more! See Ya! :P


End file.
